Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Recurring dreams

Have u ever dreamt of one thing again and again.. I m talking about the sort of dream when we see it and it recurs after a week or a month. The same thing u see it and then u think in the dream that you have seen it before but that too in the dream..

 
I remember seeing one dream recurring but it was bad since it used to be horrendous and a nightmare for me !

Some History before narration:

I remember somehow my days in Kindergarten. And that I used to go with my sister in some montessory school and I remember a party also which was I think annual day celebrations or something. The school was primary one with upto 5 grades only I was in the kindergarten at that time and my sis was in her 3rd grade. I remember the pain in my ears when all the kids in my class used to cry all day but there was one window where I used to sit and never cried since I could see my mom coming everyday from there to pick me up. .. I rememer that window clearly.
Once my sister finshed her 3rd class over there we moved to a new school, which was better and I got admission in my first grade. everything was fine.. I gradually moved to upper classes.

 In 8th grade my sister left but I continued studing in this new school There was a way a street kind of which used to join my old school and my new school .. I dont know why but we never used to take that route while going to the school. it happened one day that I was in grade 7 and coming alone from that street so I thought about seeing the school and my kindergarten. As soon as I entered the school premises it was all ruined ..the whole building of the school was kind of blasted.. nothing over there.. I asked a local about the school... and she told me that a kid once died there... therefore the school had to close and moreover it was going in loss. so they were reconstructing the place and making it a building or something !

hmm.. I thought about that poor child.. and I slept thinking about that montessory school~

My nightmare:

I saw myself entering into my montessory school - I saw that i was also the part of the annual day party and i saw my sister as she used to look when she was in 3rd - I saw myslef sitting near the window and waiting for my mom... from that window.. and as soon as I heard something I jumped off from my seat.. I saw a snake entering from that window.. a huge snake.. i turned around and the whole class was empty .. the front lawn where that party was going was vacant.. no one was there.. not even my sister.. but still I could hear something painful... cries of the small children in my class... pain and ... i was helpless since there was no door i could see.. and no way to escape..I saw the snake moving towards me

with a jolt I woke up.

I saw this dream again and again i think it repeated amost after every two three months.. till I was in my 12th grade!

I was so sick of it... I used to think that there is something wrong with me or maybe that school was jinxed..
Then from somehwere I found a book by a german author about dream analysis and then I got to know why we dream and wat are recurring dreams.

There was treatment about curing painful dreams.

I learned to treat myslef.. and In a lucid state as written by the author of the book i told my mind that I will visit that montessory school again...

but that night I just couldn't enter it.. I didn't dream that night.. even not the other night.. whole week i didnt dream.. but i said those words.. and slept... nothing dreamless nights passed by..

After 6-7 months... when i stopped saying anything.. I saw the same dream..



I clearly remeber what I did..

I saw myself entering into my montessory school - I saw that annual day party and i saw my sister  - I saw myslef sitting near the window and waiting for my mom... from that window.. and as soon as I heard something I jumped off from my seat.. I saw a snake entering from that window.. a huge snake.. i turned around and the whole class was empty .. the front lawn where that party was going was vacant.. no one was there..

I knew what will happen next..

but still I could hear something painful... cries of the small children in my class... pain and I saw the snake moving towards me... Suddenly I told my mind to dodge the snake I ran towards the blackboard and garbbed a duster.. I was not hyperventilating ... and I told myslef.. i was brave.. I threw the duster towards the snake.. I ran towards the window.. and jumped outside from the window.. I know.. i would be hurt.. but i just jumped..

I escaped... I saved my life.. wow..

when i woke up.. I was sore muscled..

But then this dream ended forever.

And now i know the cure for such dreams forever. showing bravery then and there as if it was real.


Monday, July 18, 2011

I grew old this JULY

Falling raindrops from the sky above me and feeling them on my face, smelling the dew on flowers.. walking on the rocky regions bare footed feeling their unique surface.. sipping coffee alone in the best coffee shops in New Delhi and taking a stroll under the navy blue sky.. feeling the breeze in my hair and seeing my paycheck.. sharing clothes with friends and enjoying the sun on swings... and also hearing my friends disturbing talks selflessly.(I know u r reading this) All of the above give me a unique sense of pleasure. 

From past many months I was savouring this pleasure.. therefore, I could not come here..and talk with you about it.  

I find pleasure in many things just like all of you but all of the above I have enjoyed watching myself grow. On 4th July I turned 24 years OLD. yes the number is still less but I see myself as turning into an "old soul" very soon.

THE  HYPER ME : I have seen that in my pre-teen years I used to have a lot of mood swings and I was always in a blue mood but then gradually I started becoming more stable with my thoughts.There was a period in my teen-life that I became hyper sensitive. Reason lied somewhere when People used to call me older than my sister who is actually older by 4 and a half years. My mom and my sis figured out the problem and that was our similar height, when I understood how people hyper- react to all these insignificant things then I lost my hyper-senstitvity towards this matter.


THE MELODRAMATIC ME : There was another phase in my life when I became melodramatic. It was in my late-teens and I fell in love. I was torn between family and my beloved. My family grew sick of my this love affair and wanted to shift away to a new place. I prayed a lot and reacted emotionally. Our neighbors (worst enemies of that era) kept an eye on me and him whenever we met. Our secret meetings were the sensations and no more discreet. LOL. things went up high.. His family and my family... were answerable for our deeds .. Oh GOSH.. we were in 21st century still governed by taboos. And I have thrown such performances of high emotional  turbulence that if  I had been in Hollywood I would have been awarded nothing less than an Oscar for those scenes. I'm fine but I got him as a fiance. Melodramas are a passe now.


THE STUDIOUS ME : To get admission in law I turned and kicked every stone in my way.. My family never wanted me to be a lawyer, this mystery is unsolved I have many lawyers in the family. but why my Dad never wanted this is still unknown.  After getting admission I vowed to myself .. I will do every thing to keep my name in the good students of the uni. I studied day n night and completed my 5 years and freed myself of that vow.


THE UNHEALTHY ME: I have always had a striking sinus but recently I had three majors.. Jaundice, typhoid and Hepatitis A altogether. I survived isn't that enough? now what makes me that is still a mystery eating healthy food as always but I consumed contaminated water.. I'M not worried. I'm an Indian born with  strong internal organs  but when I'm sick everybody around me becomes a doctor that's when I see myself a pathetic patient. 


THE LEARNER IN ME: I see myself as content now. Serving God each day  is the best part of my life . Loving every one around me, adjusting for them and seeing them adjusting with me makes me so comfy. I have no urge to reach higher except in spirituality since I have seen what I have gone through is EVERYONE"S TALE. every one fights in the similar way. every one goes through same melodramas and same phenomenons .. we all are like this.. but only we are less content then others. I think this is the pleasure I ENJOY WITH MYSELF as  how I over-reacted, non-reacted and hyper reacted to things which i thought were unique but everyone has gone through it. 


I love being a little wise with my age. ♥♥♥

6 B's of Lyf :