The Passing Away of my papa!

The Light and The Rainbow Bridge

Many of my pets like kittens, adult cats and puppies have died and were buried by my papa in our nearest grave yard! Sometimes papa will bring an ailing bird which either got hurt due to some misfortune or became a road kill and put its body with each feather intact in a shoe box and bury it. He would give them a proper funeral and never leave them to rot or decompose in a trash. He was extremely kind with those who passed away specially the mute birds and animals. 

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Papa after coming off from ventilator on 19th April, 2020 were declared to have Bulbar Palsy and left lung failure. He was loosing his ability to breathe. He was suggested Tracheostomy because his Bulbar Palsy (throat paralysis in simple words) was causing issues with expelling CO2 from his lungs. So it became mandatory to put him on life support (Mechanical Ventilation) for his remaining time. 

Since papa didn't have a voice and became mute before his tracheostomy was done, he would write his anguish and anger on paper and tell my mom that he is just fine and there is nothing wrong with him. He was in denial himself that something so unbelievable could happen to him. He was mentally quite alert but his hyper activity would pass him out on days. Since he was already in the hospital, that was also handled there. On 26th April, 2020 finally he underwent the surgery. 

Unbelievable as it was, his courage is worthy of hundreds of salute. Life became extremely miserable for him, that he knew nothing of. Yet, he knew he was writing his last lines in the book of life.

He was discharged on May 6th 2020, and mummy had arranged 3 machines for him at home. C-Pap, Mechanical Ventilator (Portable) and his suction machine that would suck the mucous out of his lungs. Mummy had hired a nurse as a complimentary support, though papa started becoming vegetative day by day!

Few days he would wake up and see me on video call, or see my son. Few days he would sign and ask me to show my garden that had his favorite fruits trees loaded with like Plum and Apricots. All this went on till 14th June, 2020.

Just 6 hours before, we talked/signed on video call, and he said he wanted to visit me. It was 3 years since we had met in person. Too many things didn't let us meet though God made my mother meet me twice in all these years. He was supposed to be with us this Halloween. That was our plan in January 2020. But that was our plan, not God's!

Just 6 hours before, he whispered each color of the flower that he could see in my garden, he named most of them and saw my dog running and hopping with my toddler. A laugh escaped his lips. 

We said Bye to each other. It was around 8ish in my evening. I slept a worried sleep, keeping my phone near my pillow, which I was doing from last one week. 

Because I didn't want to miss that one call, which will shatter me. 

At 3:56 am, the mobile rang with a video call, and that was it. 

Just like, my paintings, my papa was still. That dynamic person who had unbelievable resource of knowledge and infinite affection over flowing like a waterfall for his fellow beings, was still. His ailing body could not keep up with eternal dynamicity and bid us adieu!

That day, I lost my papa who meant so much to me yet, I could not be anywhere near to him. 

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Due to corona virus on its apex, our relatives, many extended friends and family members could not come. Papa's funeral procession was in a dilemma, but then God sent down his mercy and papa's funeral procession was done according to all religious rites and traditions on the same evening as it is required in Islam.

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I suppose and somehow believe that among the people who helped to carry his coffin shoulder to shoulder and helped in his burial were somehow witness to papa's kindness towards those who were mute specially animals. 

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I also believe that all those animals and our pets must be waiting for him at the rainbow bridge, and they all would have crossed together, towards the eternal light. 

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Oh, I miss you so much papa!